Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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