Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
