I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
