I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
