addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
