This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
