Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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