discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
tell me about the fingering
Randomize