i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's shark week go big or go home
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
