Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
