If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
