I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
