if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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