Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
