he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
