Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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