we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
