I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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