What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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