you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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