It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
