She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
try to milk me bitch
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
