i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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