Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
My ATM looks so different sober.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
