He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
