Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
