i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
