What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
