He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
