Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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