If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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