my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
