Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
