i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
