told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
