Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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