there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
