did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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