I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
