Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
