It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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