Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
