i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
