oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
