this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
