I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
