I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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