Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
