that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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