Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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