he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
